Looking for feedback on coloring and cinematography

Hey folks, I am looking for some feedback on the coloring and cinematography of a video we made. The video uses the poetry of a friend of mine and while the video is not supposed to tell a simple linear story it is meant to evoke the feelings of the poem, which (for you non-Dutch speaking people) is about making choices, failing, struggling with past memories and letting go of things. The audio is the super rough draft audio (done by me ) which at some point will be replaced with a male and female voice over.

With regards to what I was aiming at: the coloring is supposed to feel nostalgic, warm, and definitely not 100% realistic, while still remaining very naturalistic; people should not 'see the grade', so to speak. I added grain to a number of shots, Vimeo compression killed most of it except in the most extreme cases, but that's life, haha.

Looking forward to any and all feedback!


password: dutchpoetry

Can’t watch the video. Vimeo says that it is private.

Hey Rob! Vimeo offers the possibility for password protection, it should prompt you when watching the video. The password is dutchpoetry .

I enjoyed that.

Given your post and the video, if I was looking for inspiration or just a way to challenge my thinking, I might watch Bergman’s Fanny and Alexander.

Now to go out on a limb...

Also, maybe Norman McLaren’s Pas de deux:

https://www.nfb.ca/film/pas_de_deux_en/

And perhaps counterintuitively, something by Ryan Larkin, such as Syrinx:

https://www.nfb.ca/film/syrinx_en/

Okay, those all look awesome, and with the exception of Fanny and Alexander I hadn't heard of any of them - thanks a bunch Rob, I'll check those out!

I have to say that I am a little bit disappointed in the total lack of response to a question for feedback on a forum ostensibly dedicated to cinematography (but seemingly more dedicated to gear discussion, theoretical sensors, and discussion on tech repair). Not wanting to sound to bitter since this forum has been a great help often, but what would be a place to do get this feedback from professionals? Thanks!

I have to say that I am a little bit disappointed in the total lack of response to a question for feedback on a forum ostensibly dedicated to cinematography (but seemingly more dedicated to gear discussion, theoretical sensors, and discussion on tech repair). Not wanting to sound to bitter since this forum has been a great help often, but what would be a place to do get this feedback from professionals? Thanks!

Sean,
I commend you for seeking to pull the forum back from the abyss of endless gear discussion! Sorry, I'm not at all a professional so this doesn't address your concern. But here's a brief response from a hobbyist anyways: I like the color quite a bit. Regarding the edit, some of the cuts are both very short in duration and with a lot of camera movement, which I found a little jarring. It doesn't help that I don't understand the narration and I'm sure that helps glue everything together.
Best,
Steve

What stands out are the fast camera movements and fast edits which are totally at odds with the subject matter and story. In an action sequence for a thriller they would work perfectly. Slow it all down, hold the shots longer and maybe add some 'mood' shots without the characters. Nothing wrong with the basic cinematography or grading at all or even the audio.

I have to say that I am a little bit disappointed in the total lack of response to a question for feedback on a forum ostensibly dedicated to cinematography (but seemingly more dedicated to gear discussion, theoretical sensors, and discussion on tech repair). Not wanting to sound to bitter since this forum has been a great help often, but what would be a place to do get this feedback from professionals? Thanks!

I've tried to discuss this in the past and it's been ignored. It's actually hilarious. It's been this way for the almost 7 years that I've visited this forum so don't expect it to change anytime soon. There is a "Look What I Shot" thread where these types of things are usually posted.

Anyway... I liked what you did, seems very stylized, almost as if you wanted to handle transitions in camera. In my opinion, more steady shots and some sound design would be helpful. Overall though, I liked it. It's art, your art is not my art. That's the beauty of a piece like this.

I have to say that I am a little bit disappointed in the total lack of response to a question for feedback on a forum ostensibly dedicated to cinematography

An extensive meaningful feedback needs a lot of time to do, so probably that's the reason.

It plays like a trailer of a longer piece. Trailers get by without making a lot of sense as they show a second or two from important scenes. I’m sure it’s tied together by the spoken word, but unfortunately I don’t understand what is being said. So many people may have found it difficult to comment on.

The many brief shorts are fine in themselves but they don’t work for me to build to anything. That might be done by varying the duration of a clip or gradually pulling in closer to the subjects (or having the camera pull back on the subjects while pulling in on the narrator. But that’s just an example; you could vary anything like the time of day going from morning light to evening darkness. Something to give it visual structure since it is so short.

It needs a hook and build to a clear climax before the denouement. Lookup the elements of Greek tragedy to get the idea of what you might try to show in two minutes. For all I know your narration does that of course.

indeed, fast cuts are not suitable for romance stories. Also, when talking about cinematography, the camera angles and framing choices are most of the time not ideal. There are a few shots that look good. Colours are alright, but when the light is not properly set, the scene is ruined.

It’s interesting that people have differing interpretations of the footage and Sean’s first post. Note that Sean does not use words like romantic. He says this:

... it is meant to evoke the feelings of the poem, which (for you non-Dutch speaking people) is about making choices, failing, struggling with past memories and letting go of things. The audio ... will be replaced with a male and female voice over.

With regards to what I was aiming at: the coloring is supposed to feel nostalgic, warm, and definitely not 100% realistic, while still remaining very naturalistic; people should not 'see the grade', so to speak.

I read that, and the editing of the footage, as implying a fair amount of tension, which is one reason, while trying to pick up on his adjectives, I made the film suggestions I did.

It would be interesting to know whether the Dutch poem is something that Marguerite Duras would recognise, author of Hiroshima mon amour.

Of course, I may have completely missed the boat :) As others have suggested, inability to understand the poem doesn’t make a response easy. Interesting to read the different reactions, though.

Cheers

With regards to what I was aiming at: the coloring is supposed to feel nostalgic, warm, and definitely not 100% realistic, while still remaining very naturalistic; people should not 'see the grade', so to speak. I added grain to a number of shots.

password: dutchpoetry

Love the shots in Sodium Halide and Fluorescent practicals at night. In this what is represented is exactly whats needed - a camera and available lighting - Very great visuals there.
Is there a longer version? This one was cut too quick/fast for my old self.

The coloring is neutral, I don't find it to be stylized at all. Technically competent. The larger issue is the tone of the whole piece. The distinction between good work and " art" is that at some point all the elements of a piece point in the same direction, elevating good craft into the area of art. What came up in other reviews, and I have to agree with, is that there is conflict between camera style, the emotional message of the music, the intimacy of the actors, the tone of the speakers voice etc. Rather than pointing in the same direction, they point to, and we the viewers are pulled in, different directions. The intent becomes less clear, the message less intense.

Guys, this is such great feedback - thank you all so much! With regards to the overall tone, it's definitely supposed to feel like you are being slightly 'bombarded' with images, as the memories -happy and unhappy- of non-processed relationships and life moments can be persistent. However, the overall consensus here is quite uniform on the fact that it feels disjointed tonally, so that's great - it allows me to see if an edit with switched up elements works better! Appreciate it, folks