Aaron Carter wrote:My first short film -
Not bad for a first effort, you have some good chunks in here, and a decent story (though the text message ending is a bit forced and kind of felt... cheap? I do have a few notes:
First off - kudos on the actress. She does an excellent job despite not really having anyone else to play off of. Her phone conversations sounded genuine, and he ticks (cracking her neck, facial expressions, etc) were some excellent choices.
Beyond that, this film has a handful of technical issues. Overall, the lighting is interesting, but the color is unbalanced - when she has the bad news call, it actually warms up - the opposite of what you would want, if any change at all. Also, all of your blacks are actually blue in the color spectrum. While this can work if they are dark enough, it doesn't seem like you crushed them enough in the color correction, so they sit in contrast to the black letterbox bars. I really noticed it when you had to zoom out on the shot over her shoulder and the pillars showed on the right and left side of the frame. I would suggest cropping the color corrected footage and putting a black slug under the clip so that at least these read as truly black.
I also think the beginning is a bit slow. A lot of these shouts could be trimmed down and still get the point across. Trim the music to match the footage - don't add more footage to cover the music. Theres a few spots where you have unnecessary shots, too - like when she pours the wine. I love the closeup, but the establishing shot is too short to feel like it fits, so I would suggest cutting it altogether. Your audience won't mind.
When there is a knock at the door - she does like a quintuple-take from 3 different camera angles, looking at the computer screen and the door. This is silly and really took me out of the story. Cut one angle, and limit this to a double take.
The camera movement - it is static (though wiggles at times) until you go handheld near the end. This was a jarring switch. Either add some handheld earlier, and/or stick to tripod for the whole thing.
Finally - the font for the title... Harry Potter style? It made it look like this was supposed to be a comedy, which it definitely wasn't. I would suggest using the same font you used for the credits - it fits the story better.
There are some nice angles and framing in this, and you should be proud of actually finishing something. Now take what you learned from this and go make the next one!